Marigolds, Sunshine, Kittens, Rainbows

First off, I want to make something super clear -- I believe that keeping a positive outlook in a tough situation is needed.  It helps to keep you from feeling overwhelmed, keeps you task oriented, keeps you moving.

Now, in saying that - I'd also like to talk about the danger of always being Mrs./Mr. Sunshine and Rainbows.  Sometimes things suck. Sometimes things are terrible.  Sometimes things are sad. Sometimes things are hard.  It's okay to be overwhelmed, it's okay to be mad, sad, upset, annoyed, and frustrated.  It's how we keep ourselves safe, its how we learn to managed those feelings and emotions.

I've read an uptick in positivity articles these last few weeks.  Maybe they have always been there, maybe they always surface before a school year starts and I've just never noticed.  My district went through some shrinking pains last year, redistricting, shuffled teachers.  People are nervous and overwhelmed, so it may be due to that, that I've been more sensitive to these types of articles.  

Every article I've read has touted be positive, be a marigold, ride the energy bus, be sunshine and rainbows, be kittens, always smile, never yell......... in basic principle, I get it - and mostly agree (see above) but it also sends up red flags for me.  Being positive all the time doesn't solve problems, it ignores them.  

Feeling angry, upset, disgruntled, about a situation is not bad.  It's what you do with those feelings.  If all you do is sow more anger and frustration -- you aren't helping the situation or yourself.  However, if all you do is pretend that everything is hunky-dory -- you also aren't helping the situation or yourself.  (This is how people stay in unhealthy relationships - work and personal) 

Taking the angry, upset, disgruntled feelings and unpacking them is probably the most productive.  Are those feelings due to a long build up of local politics? -- Choose to be involved for change or let it go.  Are those feelings due to colleagues? -- Maybe less time in the staff lounge, switch committees.  Are those feelings due to managers/admin? -- Maybe talking to them -- or perhaps a new job -- or maybe acceptance of it and move on.  Is it the actual work? -- maybe it's time for a new job.

I wish some of the MANY articles I've read would talk about this.  It's impossible to be happy and positive all the time -- besides, it's not healthy or productive.  Again, I get the concept in general and as I said in the beginning, a positive outlook will often get you further in a tough situation -- but it's not going to solve your situation.  Pretending things are okay when they aren't, looking for the good when things are bad can be dangerous -- it's how people convince themselves to stay in unhealthy relationships.  Recognizing your feelings and understanding what is causing them and choosing what to do next is far healthier and productive.  

I wish the articles would acknowledge that it's okay to have things suck from time to time and to feel all those feelings and then decide what do to about it -- not just mask it with positivity.